Sunday, July 7, 2013

Splurgy things: Buttafinga Cake, Biscuits and Gravy, et al

I love making healthy things for the ones I love, but sometimes they just need that rich, sinful thing that gets them going.  For something like a birthday, I am happy to oblige.  Sometimes we all need a junky classic.  Case in point, my dad.  I adore him and want him to be as healthy as possible, but for his birthday, no punches are taken.  The man loves cake.  The man loves Butterfingers.  Sooo...

Classic chocolate buttercream:

6 tablespoons butta or 6 tablespoons margarine (softened)
2 2/3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
4 -6 tablespoons milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract

Cream butter and powdered sugar sloooowly so you don't get a cocaine cloud.  Add in the cocoa (sifted if you're lump-paranoid), followed by the milk and extracts.  Use a deeper bowl than you think you need so you don't get too sloppy outside the bowl.  Find someone to lick the beaters.

Then frost a yellow cake (whatever your favorite recipe family loves the yellow mix, so in this case, since this was for my dad, I stuck with that), and take out your aggression on a couple regular-sized butterfingers in a ziploc baggie.  I smashed mine with a pan.  I didn't want to use a food processor because I didn't want total dust.  I wanted for there to be some crunch.  Then present to your loved one (or self)!

Biscuit gravy: This recipe grossed me out SO much, but it's Eli's favorite food ever so I had to make it the classic way and not manipulate the recipe to be less artery-clogging.  He'd know.
Made this a couple times, once using flour as the thickener and once using cornstarch.  Both work equally as well

1 lb breakfast sausage
2 tablespoons finely-chopped onions
6 tablespoons flour (or 3 tbsp corn starch)
1 quart milk (or half and half if you're feeling cray)
salt and pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp paprika (optional; it looks pretty)
5-6 dashes Worcestershire sauce
1/4-1/2 tsp cayenne (optional.  skip if you do not like heat)

In a large skillet, brown breakfast sausage (don't use anything too lean, as you need the fat for the gravy) with onion.
Drain if you have more than a few tbsp excess fat.
Remove sausage/onion with a slotted spoon from pan and let rest on a plate (do not drain with a paper towel).
Add flour to the drippings and whisk consistently until the color becomes goldenish (roux - you may need to add butter here if you didn't have much fat) and whisk in the milk.
Add spices and Worcestershire and let thicken and bubble, adding sausage/onion back in at the end.
Serve over flaky hot biscuits or rolls.

Dat boy was happy.  I would have been very, very sick.

Annnd rice krispy peanut butter unicorn chunks:
Basic rice krispy recipe with peanut butter in place of just a little of the butter, and some vanilla extract.  

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